


B.F.F.W.E.B

by WhimsyNeptune



Category: Supergirl (TV 2015)
Genre: Angst, F/F, Lena Luthor Knows Kara Danvers Is Supergirl, Pining, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-05-10
Updated: 2018-06-03
Packaged: 2019-05-04 20:10:47
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 6
Words: 16,313
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14600790
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WhimsyNeptune/pseuds/WhimsyNeptune
Summary: It had started once Mon-El left. Kara had been devastated that she couldn’t find another solution, and Lena had decided that she would do whatever she could to ease Kara’s pain. It had started out as innocent cuddles, then tender forehead kisses, that had slowly trailed down to cheeks, then jawlines, and then lips.One kiss turned into two, two kisses turned into a make-out session, and then that make-out session turned into Kara fucking Lena’s brains out.





	1. Chapter 1

Lena laid naked under her sheets, smiling from ear to ear. She couldn’t believe that someone like _her_ could ever be wanted by someone like Kara Danvers. She watched as the woman slept, after a long night of heated sex and multiple orgasms.

It had started once Mon-El left. Kara had been devastated that she couldn’t find another solution, and Lena had decided that she would do whatever she could to ease Kara’s pain. It had started out as innocent cuddles, then tender forehead kisses, that slowly trailed down to cheeks, then jawlines, and then lips.

One kiss turned into two, two kisses turned into a make-out session, and then that make-out session turned into Kara fucking Lena’s brains out… It was something that Lena had been craving for from the very beginning of their friendship, but it was still not everything she’d been dreaming of.

Don’t get her wrong, the sex was the absolute best she’d ever had, but the issue was that Kara wasn’t her girlfriend; no… Kara was still pining after the man-child in space, and Lena was still just her best friend… Best friend with benefits.

It saddened Lena, to know that Kara wasn’t hers. To know that for some unknown reason, that piece of shit Daxamite had Kara’s affections. That even after six months of ‘friendly’ sex, Kara still didn’t see Lena as a romantic option; just a friend that she loved dearly, and occasionally (almost four times a week) had sex with. But, Lena had been the one to offer the idea to Kara, so she had no one to blame but herself.

Kara had vehemently tried to turn the CEO down at first. By telling her that she didn’t want to risk ruining the _friendship._  At the time, Lena had thought eventually they’d turn into more, so she had dissuaded Kara’s fears by telling her that she knew what this was when they started, but now she wasn’t so sure that her hopes would come true.

Six months of melding their bodies together. Six months of spending nights together after going at each other like they were never going to do this again. Six months of waking up, getting around together, and then acting as if the prior night had never transpired.

Six months of being ‘BFFWEB’ or, as Kara called them occasionally – ‘Best Friends Forever With Extra Benefits.’

It was both blissful, and painful all in one. She loved Kara more than anything else on the planet, would blow the entire world up if it meant that Kara would live just one day longer, and yet, the only parts of Kara that she got were the ones the public couldn’t see. It was a bittersweet pain that would never evaporate, and yet she couldn’t hold it against the Kryptonian; Kara had made sure that Lena knew she didn’t want to mess up their friendship, and Lena had agreed.

She continued to watch her lover, and friend for a while longer before the blonde’s eyes opened and a smile crept upon her face.

“Morning Sunshine.” Lena singsonged.

Kara laughed as she began to sit up. “Morning, Lee.” She said as she stretched her muscles awake. “What time is it?”

“Eleven thirty-nine.”

Kara’s eyes bulged. “You let me sleep that long!?” She asked incredulously.

Lena chuckled at Kara’s adorable shocked expression. “It’s Saturday, Darling. No work for either of us.”

Kara visibly relaxed, sinking all the way back down into her pillows. “Tonight is sister’s night, and I’m not looking forward to it. Alex has been so nosy lately.”

Lena quirked an eyebrow at that; Kara always looked forward to spending time with Alex. “Oh? What is she doing?”

Kara sighed. “She keeps wanting to know when I’m going to get over it. Or where I’m sleeping over all the time. She says I’m a terrible liar, but if that were true, then she would already know.”

“That is true, but you do realize she’s going to find out sooner or later, right?” Lena asked, trying to gauge Kara’s reaction, but when Kara’s face contorted into one of mortification, her heart broke a little.

“I hope not!” Kara said, destroying every little piece of hope Lena had left for a future between them. “That would be a nightmare, do you realize how badly she’d make fun of us?”

Lena feigned nonchalance, all the while her heart was aching for Kara to realize that Alex had no right to judge when she was doing the same thing with Lucy, but she wasn’t going to let Kara in on that little secret. “Well, if she can’t support her sister having a healthy sex life, then she really should mature.” She stated.

Kara playfully rolled her eyes. “Alex is my sister; I don’t think she even wants to know about my sex life. She’s just worried and wants me to be happy, and if she found out about this, she would tease me as payback for keeping it from her.”

Lena nodded, pretending to understand the healthy version of a sibling relationship. She watched as Kara stood up from the bed, using the sheet to cover her supple breasts like she always did the morning after they had sex... as if Lena hadn’t just had the opportunity to lick, suck, and squeeze them for hours the night before.

She pretended that the pain wasn’t there and looked away respectfully as Kara dressed herself. “I’m going to stop at Noonan’s for some breakfast. You wanna come with?” Kara asked chirpily.

Lena smiled sadly at her best friend; her heart was falling when she realized that once again, Kara wasn’t going to stay any longer than she had to.  She shook her head; she needed a few hours apart from Kara so that she could fall back into the role of ‘Best Friend’ in the public eye. “No, I think I’m going to do some work from home for a little bit. Now that Jess is on maternity leave it tends to get a little hectic.”

Kara rolled her eyes. “Leeeeenaaa” She drawled. “You _just_ said that you didn’t have work today!”

 _That was when I thought you might stay with me for the day._ “Yes, but I just remembered I had to do a few things. Jess is an enormously vital member of my faculty. She was the glue that held us together.”

It wasn’t all a lie; Jess _was_ an essential member of her team, but she had been successfully managing with the help of her entire corporation.

Kara sighed and gave a curt conceding nod. “Alright, but if you change your mind, you’ll have until about two.”

“Alright, Kara. Thank you.” She offered the Kryptonian an appreciative smile, and Kara nodded.

“Anytime, Lee. It’s what friends are for!” She exclaimed before heading for the window that led towards the balcony. “See you tomorrow night?” She asked.

Every bone in Lena’s body told her that this wasn’t a good idea. That there was no way on Earth she could survive continuing this arrangement and not getting to have all of Kara, but her heart told her to keep going along with it; that as long as _she_ was the one Kara was in bed with, it kept the competition away… That as long as she had _some_ of Kara, she would be able to in some way pretend that she could be happy. “Of course, I’ll be the one naked beneath you.” She said with a wink.

Kara blushed. “I guess that means I’m the one naked above you?” She squeaked out.

Lena couldn’t contain her mirthful laugh at Kara’s adorable awkwardness. “You have been for the past six months… I don’t think it will change.”

Kara’s blush still resided on her face, but her Supergirl confidence kicked up. “It never will.” She said with a smirk before she leaped into the air.

Lena smiled, and couldn’t help but hope to any all-powerful being that might exist that Kara’s words meant more than what she said…

**XXX**

Two hours later, Lena was sitting on her couch, trying desperately to find a decent show on TV. She settled for some bland documentary about how play dough was made when her phone rang. She looked down to see that it was her favorite person in the world and smiled widely.

“Kara!” She answered.

“Lena! Hey, I’m glad you answered!”

Lena let out a bemused laugh. “When have you known me to ignore your calls, Kara?”

She heard Kara let out a strange noise. “Never.” She admitted over the phone.

The CEO was starting to become a bit more aware that this wasn’t a social call by the tone of Kara’s voice. “Kara, Darling… Is everything okay? Is something wrong?”

“Oh, um… N-not really. See, I um… Winn came over to borrow my Settlers of Catan game, and he showed me one of his doohickeys, and I accidentally broke it and now he’s mad because it was apparently really expensive, and I feel like garbage. I don’t know what it was or what it did, and even though I was the youngest member of the science guild, I still don’t know what a Millennium Falcon is… or what it’s supposed to look like, and I know that you enjoy the star movies... So, um… would you mind helping him fix it?”

Lena didn’t even try to hold back her mirth at Kara’s rant. It was just too endearing to pretend she found it anything but. “Was it a collectible?”

“I don’t know; he always gets super intense over his Star Trek toys.”

“Star Wars, dear.” Lena corrected.

“Right… Same difference.” Kara retorted petulantly. "I don't know anything about those movies. No one else besides you that I know does, really... So, since you're the only one that I know of, do you think that you can help him put it back together?"

Lena shook her head in amusement, knowing that Kara felt abhorrently guilty for something so simple. The CEO had decided then and there that she would do anything to help the Hero out, so she agreed to do just that.

“Oh, thank you so much, Lee! You’re a god send. This is why I love you!” Kara said before disconnecting the call.

Lena froze.

Did…

Did Kara just say that she loved her?

 

**XXX**

Lena had made a few calls and had managed to get a replica of the Millennium Falcon signed by none other than Harrison Ford himself. It was worth over $16,000 so the brunette hoped it would make up for whatever Kara had broken. She knew Kara wouldn’t be thrilled to hear that Lena spent so much money on an item that to Kara had no meaning, but she couldn’t help herself…. Money really wasn’t much of an issue for her.

When she knocked on Kara’s door, Alex opened it with a questioning expression. “If you’re here to comfort Winn in his time of mourning he just left.” She said with a roll of her eyes. “He’s going to the bar.”

It was hard to restrain her laughter, but she gave Alex a soft smile and turned to leave. “I will try to catch him.” She said, fighting with her lips to keep from laughing.

It seemed as if Alex had the same struggle, and within moments the two were both laughing relentlessly.

“I really don’t understand men.” Alex chortled. “Probably why I don’t like them.”

Lena let out a loud guffaw. “You and I both… Although women aren’t much easier.”

Alex gave her a knowing smile. “I’m sure it gets easier… Especially once you tell them how you feel.”

Lena let that last comment roll off her back and she gave her a slight nod before leaving.

 

**XXX**

When Lena walked into the dive bar that Kara’s friends unfortunately frequented, she immediately noticed a pensive looking Winn sitting in a corner booth focused on trying to glue a (very rare) collectible Millennium Falcon model replica back together.  She chuckled and gripped her box just a little bit harder; hopeful that her gift would mend the (ridiculous) 'rift' between he and Kara and ease the Kryptonians (irrational) guilt. She could tell that the collectible was quite costly, and Winn was reasonably upset that it was broken... but irrationally upset at Kara over it.

She made her way to the booth and scooted in across from her ‘Science Bro’.

“Kara, I told you I’m not speaking to you right now.” He said without looking up.

“Well, that’s unfortunate because anyone would be lucky to stand within ten miles of our lovely Kryptonian, let alone speak with her.” Lena asserted.

Winn’s eyes lifted to meet Lena’s and he sat back and shook his head. “Why don’t you just tell her that you love her already?” He asked in a curious manner, no accusation in his tone; but to Lena, it still felt as if the world was swirling. She thought she’d hidden her love for Kara well.

“I-,” She paused. “She’s my best friend; she knows that I love her. You can’t be best friends if there is no love between you.”

Win sighed. “I was in your shoes once, and it sucks, trust me. I know how it feels.”

Lena frowned… “Y-you do?” She asked.

Winn nodded. “Yes. I even kissed her when I admitted that I was in love with her too! It, um… Well, it didn’t go very well for me, but that was mainly because I couldn’t handle rejection and I forced a kiss on her without. But I’m sure that you have thicker skin than I do and wouldn’t force yourself on her like I did.”

Lena pinned the man with an unimpressed expression; she was almost considering returning the gift. “What do you mean by that?” She asked.

The Tech-savvy man gulped. “N-not that your skin isn’t perfect, or-or that she will definitely turn you down... I-… I-…I um... I have to go. I think I left my oven on at home.” He rambled as he tried to stand, but Lena was quicker than him and managed to pull him back into the booth.

She laughed at his awkwardness “Winn, I’m not angry… but I don’t think you realize what you’re telling me to do. For starters you were a _man_ ; Kara is straight. It was a lot easier for her to accept that you were in love with her. To top it all off, you weren’t a Luthor… I am.”

Winn rolled his eyes. “First of all, she only told me that she wasn’t gay… she never said anything about not liking women though. So, you can’t be so sure about that. Secondly, I’m not a Luthor, but I still am the son of the Toyman, so that wasn’t so good either. It doesn’t matter though, Lena, because Kara loves you… If not romantically, then at least as her best friend, and she deserves to know. If she can get passed my confession and horrible awkward kiss, then she will be able to accept your feelings and get passed them whether she reciprocates them or not… You will never know if you never try. Frankly, I think you two would be an adorable couple.”

Lena contemplated everything Winn had just unfolded. It was true that Winn was the one that saw them together the most. It was also true that Winna had fucked up far worse than Lena ever would, and it was also true that Kara had a heart of gold and would try her hardest to put Lena’s feelings behind them if she didn’t feel the same way… Perhaps she could take the plunge… Even if it meant having her heart destroyed… Kara was worth the risk.

She looked at Winn and gave him an appreciative smile before scooting the box that held his $16,000 gift inside. “This is to replace the one that Kara broke… Forgive her, okay? She feels terrible enough without you acting like a toddler who just dropped his ice cream cone.”

 _At least he didn’t seem repulsed by the idea of a Luthor and a Super being together._ She thought as she walked away, feeling a ping of confidence overflow her.

**XXX**

Forty-five minutes later she got a triple text from Kara.

 **Kara** : _OMG You made Winn’s day!_

 **Kara:** _Idk Who Harold Ford is but THANK YOU, Lena._

 **Kara:** _SIXTEEN THOUSAND DOLLARS!?!?!_

The CEO just smiled fondly.

 _God_ did she love that woman.

**XXX**

Kara was on top of her, their naked bodies melded together, and lips crashing together heatedly like every time after they had a night filled with sex.

Eventually, Kara rolled off of her, both of them breathing heavily. “You never stop being amazing at that,” Kara confessed.

Lena smiled, loving that she could make the Woman of Steel breathless with her touch. “I’m happy to be of service.”

Kara laughed, but then her face turned serious. “You’re going to make someone really happy someday.” She said.

 _I’ll never be able to love someone like I love you, Kara._ “I don’t think I will.” She said honestly. “Because…” She stopped and sighed irritated at herself for chickening out once more, all of her confidence that Winn had bestowed upon her the previous day completely depleted. “Because I’m much too focused on my career than finding a relationship.”

Kara looked away and nodded. “I get that. With my Supergirl schedule, it’d be hard to maintain a relationship as well.”

Lena smiled through the pain. “Yes, but at least we have our BFFWEB pact, right?” She asked with a strained voice.

Kara smiled. “Right!”

Lena did her best (that still wasn’t enough) to ignore her heart ache and scooted over to Kara, resting her head on  the firm Kryptonian chest... Maybe this could be enough... Until Kara found someone worth her heart and this entire arrangement would come crashing down.

She forced back her fears and tried as hard as she could to focus on the present...

Kara was there, in her bed, holding her... That was all that mattered right then.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that this was enjoyable.
> 
> Let me know what you thought?


	2. Chapter 2

Lena was at L-Corp, combing through her paperwork when there was a knock on her door. “Come in!” She called, without a second thought.

She heard the door open and expected to see Kara walk through it, but who she saw was no one she’d ever expected. “Mr. Olsen?” She asked in surprise.

James smiled nervously. “Hi.”

Lena had no idea where the man got the nerve to look her in the eyes. After everything he had accused her of, everything he’d done to try to ruin her name and everything she worked so hard to change about it, he still was hellbent on proving that she was just as evil as her family, but he was Kara’s friend… Kara’s _ex_  . So, she had to pretend to be civil with the man. “What can I do for you?”

“Um… I know it’s not my right to ask this, but… You’re Kara’s best friend, and you’re with her 24/7. I know that she tells you anything, and I’m too terrified to go to Alex about this. So, I’m just going to come right out and ask you.” He took a deep breath and released it loudly before speaking. “Is Kara seeing anyone?” He asked nervously. “I mean I-… I really care about her, and I want to know if there’s possibly a chance for us.”

Lena couldn’t contain her laughter. “ _You_ care about her?” Her laughter only grew. “The man who went against her at every turn, made her feel like trash for something she had no control over while under the influence of Red Kryptonite, and told her that she was being a villain for detaining a man that tried to murder thousands of people? You don’t care about her, and for you to stand her in front of me, having the _nerve_ to ask me to indulge you and betray Kara’s trust by giving you private information? You’re beyond pathetic.”

The anger was evident in the man’s eyes, he minutely flexed his muscles trying to overawe the CEO, but Lena refused to be intimidated by him… or anyone for that matter. “You may be Superman’s best friend, James Olsen, but Supergirl is mine; and the last time I checked, she can beat his ass quite easily. Don’t push your luck.”

To be frank, Lena wasn’t quite sure whose side Kara would be on if it ever came down to picking between Lena or James, and she didn’t want to think about it… James may have once upon a time had Kara’s heart, but he’d never shared her bed… so, she’d like to think she had the upper hand, yet… She couldn’t quite convince herself of that fact.

James sighed and shook his head. “I’m sorry.” He conceded. “I never thought I’d miss her this much, but I do, and since it’s been almost seven months since Mon-El left, I thought that _maybe_ she’d be ready to start over, y’know? Maybe give me a second chance.”

Lena wanted to pity the man, she knew how devastating it was to be in love with Kara, yet unable to be with her, but she didn’t feel anything but resentment for the man. He had a chance to be with Kara, yet he squandered it… Something only a complete imbecile would be capable of doing. “Kara deserves better than you.” She seethed. “Anyone stupid enough to let her slip through their fingers is an idiot of astronomical proportions.”

James stood stunned. “I don’t think you understand what happened between us, Le-,”

“It’s Miss Luthor, to you.” She interjected. “And I don’t really care what happened between you two; it doesn’t change my opinion. There would never be a sufficient reason to let Kara go. The only logical explanation is that you are a massive imbecile with shit for brains.”

James let out an aggravated huff and turned to let himself out. Once he was out of ear shot, she dialed the security desk in the front lobby.

“Front desk Security.” A voice answered.

“Yes, this is Miss Luthor, I’d like to revoke James Olsen’s rights to visit without a scheduled appointment that has been verified by myself _and_ my assistant. Is that understood?”

“Yes, Miss Luthor. I will get on that right away.”

Lena nodded. “I’d also like to have the name and badge number of the guard that allowed him to access my office without approval.”

**XXX**

Focusing on work was difficult after her conversation with James.

She was worried that the man would go to Kara to tell her about their conversation and turn it around on her. Was afraid that Kara would believe whatever story Jimmy fed her and then turn on Lena, end their sexual escapades, and never speak to her again. There were so many horribly terrifying scenarios running around Lena’s mind that she wasn’t quite sure which on she feared the most.

 Ultimately, she decided that her worst fear was that Jimmy would not only get Kara to end her friendship with Lena but also win back her heart… it was a long shot, and by no means realistic to think that Kara would fall back under that man’s spell.

She couldn’t hold back her fears any longer and needed any amount of reassurance she could.

 **Lena:** _I’m feeling a bit hungry. Dinner tonight? ;)_

That was their code for ‘I’m in the mood… Want to have sex?’

Lena had no idea what she would do if Kara decided to up and leave her. After everything she’d done for her, Lena knew that she would never be able to live without her… Not happily at least.

Her phone dinged, and a smile crept across her face.

 **Kara:** _I’m more in the mood for pot stickers and Netflix tonight. :/ It’s been a long day._

Lena looked at her watch and frowned when she saw that it was only twelve; Kara's day had barely even started, and she was already upset. 

She decided that leaving the office at noon would have to do. Kara needed her, and she was going to be there for her no matter what.

 **Lena:** _I’m leaving the office right now. Potstickers, and Scandal marathon?_

 **Kara:** _Lena, I can’t leave, I’m at work. Tonight though, okay?_

Lena laughed and shook her head before calling the one person that could get Kara to leave work without any objections.

“Miss Luthor, I hope you have a good reason for calling me. I am in the middle of editing last-minute articles. What do you w-,”

Lena wasn’t in the mood to hear Snapper’s crass comments and interjected him as politely as she could. “Mr. Carr, I do hope I’m not bothering you. But would you please send Ms. Danvers home for the day?”

“Why should I?” He asked indignantly.

Lena rolled her eyes, not at all a fan of Snapper Carr for the way he used to treat Kara. “Well, for one, I own the Company. I could go on, but I think you get my point.”

There was a bit of grumbling into the phone before she heard the man reluctantly call to Kara. “Ponytail!” He yelled. “Go home. You.. uh.. Did good work today. Take a break. Come back tomorrow.”

Lena smirked. “Thank you, Mr. Carr. Have a pleasant day.” She hung up the phone just as she received a text.

 **Kara:** _You’re the best_.

Lena smiled as she entered the car she had waiting for her outside the building. Allowing the butterflies from being complemented by Kara overtake her completely. Oh, how she loved this woman.

**XXX**

Lena picked up twelve orders of pot stickers, and a gallon tub of ice cream before she ordered her driver to take her to Kara’s apartment. When she arrived, she walked right in and smiled when she saw Kara sitting on her couch reading a book.

“Did you forget that I own CatCo? You can leave whenever you want.” She declared as she made her way over to Kara.

Kara laughed half-heartedly. “If I took you up on that offer, I’d never show up to work again. Not after today at least.”

Lena sat the food on the coffee table in front of Kara and then went to put the ice cream in the freezer. “What happened that made today so awful?” She inquired when she sat down next to the blonde.

Kara shook her head and sighed. “James is acting so… I don’t _know_. He’s been very confusing lately. Today he asked me if I was seeing anyone and he didn’t let it up.”

Lena swallowed. “What did you say?” She asked, her heart feeling like it was about to explode.

“I told him it was none of his business. I don’t understand why he cares so much. It’s not like my romantic life affects him.” Kara said frustratedly as she picked up a box of pot stickers. “Thank you for this by the way. You’re seriously the best friend in the multiverse.”

Lena forced a smile to her face and nodded her head. Kara seriously had no idea that both Lena _and_ James want to be with her… How could someone with such a genius intellect be so oblivious to her surroundings? Furthermore, how could she be so oblivious to how utterly magnificent she was? “I believe that title belongs to you, but I’ll take it.” She teased.

Kara smiled at Lena and then shoved three whole pot stickers into her mouth causing Lena to wonder how she never choked on her food.

“No. You really have no idea how much this means to me. You’ve never let me down, Lee. No matter what we go through, you’ve not once let me down. That’s why I can’t thank you enough.”

Lena wanted so badly to lean in and kiss Kara. To tell her how absolutely madly in love with her she was, but instead, she settled for stealing one of Kara’s overly salted pot sticker and taking a bite of it. When she swallowed it, she shook her head. “Never thank me for being a decent friend, Kara. You have your standards for friendships set far too low. Raise them, and I promise I won’t let you down then either.”

Kara smiled and leaned in, causing Lena’s heart rate to skyrocket as she closed her eyes and waited for what was to come next. When she felt Kara’s lips press against her cheek, she couldn’t help the sudden feeling of disappointment rise inside her, but the unusual display of affection soon gave her butterflies when it lasted far longer than it normally would on any other occasion. “You are far better than ‘decent,’ Lena. You’ve never betrayed me; you’ve never lied to me, you’ve always supported, encouraged, and comforted me. We have so many amazing memories together, so please don’t ever think that you are less than extraordinary.”

Hearing Kara tell her that Lena was her best friend because she hadn’t betrayed her or lied to her caused Lena’s anxiety to rise. She hadn’t told Kara about James stopping by earlier that morning, and if she found out from James she knew it wouldn’t be the full story… She had to tell her now. “James came by my office today.” She blurted out.

Kara furrowed her brows. “What?”

“He came by so he could ask me if you were seeing anyone because he wants to be with you again.” She averted her eyes. Ashamed that she hadn’t told Kara immediately after it happened.

“What did you say?”

Lena swallowed. “I told him that it was none of his business and that he didn’t deserve you because he hurt you in the past. That’s all I said, I promise.” She paused. “I didn’t tell him about our… _arrangement_.”

Kara’s brows were still corrugated as her eyes bore into Lena’s; searching for something, and the CEO wasn’t quite sure what it may be. “Why did he come to you?”

Lena shrugged, once again avoiding eye contact. “He said because you and I are best friends and spend a substantial amount of time together he figured that I would have the most knowledge… right after Alex, of course… But he’s too afraid of her.”

They both cracked a smile at James’ fear of the Kryptonian’s extremely protective big sister. “Well, he’s our friend, but Alex would put him in his place in an instant.”

They laughed momentarily before Kara reached out and put her hand on Lena’s knee. “Thank you for telling me, Lena. That puts a lot of things in perspective.” She finished her statement with a squeeze of Lena’s kneecap and then removed her hand.

 

Kara said it with such finality that it confused Lena. “What’s wrong, Kara?”

Kara chuckled. “Nothing… I thought for a moment that he actually cared about my wellbeing, that he was wanting me to get out there again and find someone, but the way he was asking me had me perplexed because it didn’t sound like a friend asking me… It sounded like a bully trying to force information out of me. Now it makes sense; he just wants in my pants. Sometimes I wonder if that’s all our friendship is.”

Lena frowned. Was that what Kara thought about _their_ friendship too? Was their ‘arrangement’ distorting the lines between friendship, relationship, and fuckbuddies for Kara? “James cares about you, Kara… He has a strange and fucked up way of showing it, but he cares about you.”

Kara smiled sadly and laid her head on Lena’s shoulder. “I know he does. I just don’t know in which way.”

Lena looked down at the woman that owned her heart and leaned her head down, placing a kiss on top of Kara's head. “What way do you want him to care about you?”

Kara sighed. “I used to think that I was in love with him. But, then everything happened with the Red K, and I realized he and I could never be more than friends. So I just want him to care for me as a friend. I don’t want the drama with him anymore. But if I have to turn him down again, it’ll crush him. I just want this entire situation to go away. I don’t want to lose him, but I _don’t_ want to be with him again.”

Lena rubbed Kara’s head with her hand and nodded. “Then that’s all that matters. If he can’t respect your wishes, he doesn’t deserve you in his life.”

Kara squeezed her. “This is why I love you, Lena. You’re always there for me. I don’t know what I’d do without you.”

Lena smiled, her heart fluttering at Kara’s confession of love. “I love you too, Kara. And you will never have to find out because you will never be without me. _Never_.”

There were a million reasons Lena had been terrified to tell Kara about her feelings, and she had been ready to ignore them all and profess her undying love and devotion to her, but this conversation confirmed it.

Kara would be more devastated by having to turn her down, than anything else… That was if she even wanted to be friends.

So, no matter how badly it killed Lena, she would have to suck it up, and continue with the way things were. She knew one day their sexcapades would cease, and Kara would find someone worthy of her love. She knew that she would have to live with the constant pain and jealousy of seeing Kara love another, but she knew that all of that would be better than having that awkward tension that Kara and James now had between them… Or worse yet, living without Kara in her life.

After Kara’s pot stickers were devoured, the tv was turned on, and Lena curled up into Kara. When Kara’s arm wrapped around her, Lena hummed in contentment and closed her eyes as a sense of peace overwhelmed her. She could almost pretend that Kara’s embrace meant more than it truly did.

But when she remembered that it was just platonic, a pain shot through her, and dread overcame her as she realized once again, Kara Zor-El Danvers would never be hers.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry, but James doesn't deserve Lena's friendship... let alone affections, so I had to show that in this story, he has neither.
> 
> I hope you enjoyed:)


	3. Chapter 3

Being in love with her best friend was a curse.

Not because Kara was a super-powered alien, not because of their families’ history, but because if she found out Lena’s feelings, it could ruin them.

Lena knew that Kara would try her hardest to get past it, but she saw how things were between her and Winn, and her and James. She knew that the awkwardness would be just as intense, if not _more so_ , between herself and Kara.

She sat next to Kara three weeks later, right after their sixth round of mind blowing sex that night. She was breathless, and Kara wasn’t saying a word, just staring up at the ceiling like she was about to burn a hole through it… which was entirely possible with her laser vision.

“What’s going through your mind?”

Kara looked over at her and sighed contentedly. “Today marks seven months.”

Lena’s heart dropped…. Kara was still hurting over the Slave Owner. It killed her, but she knew that with all that Kara had lost, it only made sense for Kara to still be heartbroken. She needed her friend’s support, and that was precisely what Lena intended to give her, no matter how bad it destroyed her heart to see Kara still hung up on someone else. “I’m sorry, Kara. I had no idea you were still keeping track of the days Mon-El has been gone.” Lena croaked out. “It must hurt. I can’t begin to pretend to understand what you must be feeling.”

Kara furrowed her brow. “No, Lena.” The Kryptonian said as she shook her head. “Seven months since we started this.” She motioned between herself and Lena. “You know… the _extra benefits_.”

Lena’s heart melted at Kara’s adorable mannerisms and the fact that she had been keeping track of how long they’d been… together- _ish_. “Is that so?”

Kara nodded. “Yes. Happy Friendiversary.” She giggled.

Lena smiled despite herself. She’d rather have a real _Anniversary_ with Kara, and preferably her last name as well, but if this was all Kara could give her, Lena would greedily accept. “Happy Friendiversary, Kara.”

Kara’s smile turned predatory as she tackled Lena onto the bed and positioned herself on top of her.

They were both naked, which meant their bare breasts were touching, and although they had been in that particular position approximately four hundred and forty-eight times, Lena was still breathless by the sensation.

“I think we should make tonight and today special, don’t you?” Kara asked.

Lena gulped, excitement and anticipation streaming through her veins. “How?”

Kara grinned. “By beating our record.” She declared. “We’ve had sex six times tonight, which is the highest we normally go. So, I say we go for seven since that’s how many months we’ve been doing this together. What’d you say? You up for the challenge?”

Lena nodded her head; she’d _always_ be up for this.

Kara beamed at her and leaned in, kissing Lena much more passionately than usual which set the brunette’s heart on fire. Lena moaned and wrapped her arm around the Kryptonian above her, never wanting this night to end. Never wanting to wake up the next morning to see Kara getting around to leave once again.

Kara’s hands were all over her body as Lena lay beneath her, enjoying every single feather-like caress.

“ _Kara,_ ” Lena whispered as their bodies touched. Kara smiled softly at her from above, slowly intertwining their bodies.

“Yes, Lena?” The Kryptonian whispered into Lena’s ear, her warm breath sending shivers down Lena’s spine.

The CEO gulped. “I-I need.” She trailed off, unable to form the rest of the sentence.

“What do you need, Lee? What do you need?” Kara urged.

“You,” Lena whispered breathlessly. She knew it was a risk to say it out loud, but it was the only truth that was available. “I need _you._ ”

She felt Kara smile into her neck, placing a gentle kiss on the nape before sitting up, her knees on either side of Lena’s hips. Her breasts were the shape of Hershey Kisses and were just as delightful to devour. Her dark pink, coin sized areolas hardened and pointy staring down at her, Lena wanted nothing more than to know that she’d be the only one to witness the sight before her for the rest of her life, but she wasn’t naïve, she knew this wasn’t going to be everlasting. So, she intended to make the best of it. She leaned up, collected Kara’s nipple into her mouth, and began flicking her tongue against it just how she knew Kara loved it.

Kara moaned loudly, causing arousal to pool at Lena’s apex, and the next thing she knew, three Kryptonian fingers plunged deep into her.

Lena wailed out in surprise and pleasure and knew that the night was still young.

 

**XXX**

That morning, Lena awoke to something that wasn’t normal.

Kara was spooning her, and by god if it wasn’t the most magnificent sensation to ever take over her. She sighed contentedly and decided to bask in that moment for as long as Kara slept. She wasn’t sure if Kara had purposely cuddled her, or if it had been a fluke throughout the night, but she _definitely_ didn’t mind it either way.

Cuddling was normal after they had sex, but they never fell asleep in each other’s arms, and they certainly had never awoke to find themselves embracing each other. Yet, being enveloped in Kara's arms felt so right, and Lena never wanted it to stop.

Lena began to softly rub her hand up and down the Kryptonian arm around her waist and smiled as she thought about being able to do this every morning. Waking up in Kara’s embrace, kissing her good morning, kissing her goodnight… Being able to call Kara her girlfriend, fiancée and eventually _wife_. The three cats, and two dogs they’d have in their massive penthouse that they’d buy together. Being Mrs. and Mrs. Zor-el Danvers, because she would _never_ let Kara take on the Luthor curse, and would like to escape it herself if she were honest.

She smiled as joy overwhelmed her at the thought of what their life would be like, but then, Kara’s arm slowly departed her body, and as she turned around, she saw Kara’s wide eyes.

“Oh, gee, Lena. I’m so sorry!” Kara said worriedly. “I-I don’t know what came over me.”

Lena’s heart fell, but then she realized that it seemed like Kara _had_ spooned her on purpose. “You wanted to cuddle, and I love cuddles. You have nothing to apologize for.” She said happily, feeling the smallest amount of hope arise within her.

Kara let out a small breath. “Promise?”

Lena nodded. “Especially since it’s our _Friendiversary_.” She chuckled.

Kara smiled and bit her lip, her eyes downcast. “Do you think we could spend the day together then? You know… as a Friendiversary Day?”

Lena misheard Kara for a moment and swore that she heard _date_ , but she quickly replayed Kara’s question in her mind and realized her mistake. With a tiny hint of disappointment in her heart, she agreed eagerly, because date or no date, spending time with Kara was the one thing that made her heart soar.

“Absolutely!”

**XXX**

They were walking down Main Street while they ate ice cream cones when Kara’s phone rang. The blonde looked to Lena apologetically, and although she felt a bit of disappointment, Lena waved her guilt away. “It may be important.”

Kara smiled appreciatively at her and nodded before answering it.

“Alex? What’s wrong?” She waited for her sister’s reply.

Kara rolled her eyes. “No, Alex. I’m fine, just hanging out with Lena.”

Another pause as Alex spoke. “Well, I feel like I deserve a break too, Alex.”

Kara stood silently for a few moments. “Yes, of course,” Kara said in earnest.

“No, I’m _really_ just grabbing some ice cream with Lena.”

Kara let out a huff and gestured for Lena to come closer. Lena did as Kara requested and watched as the blonde opened her camera. They both raised their cones and smiled at the camera as Kara snapped the picture. Kara pulled away from Lena and winked before mouthing ‘Thank you’ as she sent her sister the picture.

“See, Alex? No secret boyfriend.” Kara laughed at whatever her sister had responded with, “I promise when I get one you’ll be the first to know, now can I go back to enjoying my ice cream?”

Lena’s heart descended to the deepest part of her soul… The reminder that Kara wasn’t hers refractured her already mangled heart. She watched as Kara hung up the phone and turned back to her. "Sorry, like I said, She's been incredibly nosy recently."

Lena chuckled as she waved away Kara's apology once more. "She's being a sister. No need to apologize for that." She smiled, fighting back the ache at hearing Kara tell Alex she _was indeed_ on the market for a boyfriend.

"Thanks, Lee, you're incredible." Kara declared before she licked her ice cream.

Lena watched as Kara's tongue delicately traced the cone. She was enraptured by just how incredible that tongue was. She was so entranced by that magical tongue, that had made her call out for a god that she doesn't believe in  _hundreds_ of times, that she hadn't even realized that she dropped her own cone.

Kara looked down at the wasted ice cream and chuckled as she picked it up and threw it into the nearby trash bin. "So, we got ice cream, and it seems pretty clear that you didn't want it." She laughed "But I think that I know what you  _really_  want.” She said flirtatiously… Well, as flirtatious as Kara would get with her in the public eye.

Lena froze, her heart palpitating out of her chest. Had her gawking given her away? “You do?” She asked tentatively.

Kara nodded as she smirked. “I mean… It’s pretty obvious.”

Lena averted her eyes, realizing that Kara had no idea what it was that Lena genuinely craved. “Oh? What is it that I want?”

“You want to go to that new Italian restaurant by Noonan’s!” Kara announced excitedly. “You’ve been dropping hints  _all week_!”

 _I’ve also dropped hints that I want to be with you, but you seem to miss all of those._ “Yes!” She said with a façade of excitement. It may have been evident that Lena wanted to go there, but the reasoning was apparently lost by Kara.

Lena had been suggesting that they go to il Picchio Rosso all week, but she’d been trying to hint that she wanted it to be a date, but it was clear that Kara had missed that.

Yet, Lena couldn’t help but dream that it would end up meaning more than she knew it did. Kara wasn’t interested in anything but sex with her, she’d been adamant about not wanting to ruin their  _friendship_  in the very beginning, and it seemed like she was only interested in  _dating_  men… Sleeping with women, however, seemed to be something Kara enjoyed very,  _very_  much, so it didn’t quite make sense.

Kara smiled. “They don’t open until four, and it’s only two-thirty, so what do you want to do until then?”

Lena smirked. “Well, we have to change out of these clothes and into fancier ones if you’re planning on taking me out tonight, soooo… I have a few ideas of how you can get me out of these clothes.”

Kara’s eyes glossed over with something Lena was all too familiar with being directed at her by now… Lust. “I know a shortcut to your place… Follow me.”

 

**XXX**

Kara had worn her out, but getting to see Kara all dressed up for  _her_? That was something she’d persevere through  _anything_  to see.

She had broken out the nicest dress she had in her closet; it was a teal Versace dress with a semi-circle collar made of silk. It hugged her every curve and revealed just enough cleavage that it might bring Kara back to her place to stay the night once more. It only went just past her knees so that Kara could enjoy her legs all night as well... She hoped to god that soon she wouldn’t have to seduce Kara just to get her to stay the night, that someday soon, Kara would be with her all the time; publicly,  _and_  privately.

Kara had flown back to her apartment to find a dress of her own and was supposed to arrive any moment, so Lena carefully applied her eyeliner, and made sure her lipstick hadn’t gotten on her teeth. As soon as she resituated her dress, and made sure that her hair wouldn’t frizz out because of the wind, a knock sounded at her door, and Kara walked in.

When Lena turned around, her breath hitched. Kara looked absolutely radiant. She could have easily ornamented the cover of any magazine or billboard within the entire world. Except, that wouldn’t do her justice, she was so much prettier than any two-dimensional model that was photoshopped to look ‘perfect.’ Because her natural beauty would far outdo any photoshopped Victoria Angel. Her eyes, cerulean like the sea, were orbs of lustrous blue, carved onto her warm beige face like hypnotizing gems. Her molten gold hair plummeted to her shoulders and cascaded down her back like a waterfall of gold. She had champagne-red lips, crystal white teeth, and a red dress that hugged her tightly in  _all_  the right places.

If Lena hadn’t wholly believed that Kara was a goddess before, she surely knew it at that moment. She hadn't fallen in love with Kara for her looks, but  _holy hell_  did they not help her unrequited love.

“My god, Kara… You’re absolutely gorgeous!”

Kara blushed. “Lena, have you looked in a mirror lately? You’re always stunning… I figured it was time to step up my game.”

Lena was just about to contest Kara’s statement when the blonde took her hand from behind her back to reveal a gorgeous bouquet of Gardenias. Kara smiled nervously as she handed them to her, and Lena’s breath was taken away.

Two questions were running through her mind.

_Is this a date?_

And,

_Does she know what these flowers stand for?_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Gardenias- Forbidden, or secret love.
> 
> As always, I hope you enjoyed. :)


	4. Chapter 4

The ride over to the restaurant was… typical. Nothing out of the ordinary, Kara talked to Lena as if they’d been best friends for years (which was accurate), and Lena had listened and responded to each of Kara’s jokes as she usually did. She was still trying to figure out if Kara’s flowers meant something more than a friendly gesture, but didn't want to make Kara suspicious.

Finally, when they reached the restaurant, something _did_ change. Kara walked around the car and opened the door for Lena, holding out her hand for the CEO as she did so. Lena’s heart fluttered because of Kara’s -seemingly- romantic gesture, and she was ashamed to admit that something so drastically minute could cause her to go breathless… But it was Kara, and nothing that woman did ever left her unaffected.

They walked into the building and were sat without difficulty, but when they were left to themselves, with a bottle of champagne and menus, Lena became increasingly nervous. If this was their first real date, and it went badly, it could destroy whatever chance she had of being Kara’s girlfriend… But if this weren’t a date, and she said or did the wrong thing, it could end what they already had going between them. She inhaled deeply and decided just to act like she generally would until Kara gave her a sign to do otherwise. “How is working under Snapper treating you?”

Kara let out an exasperated sigh. “It’s _ridonkulous_!” She said, and Lena couldn’t help but giggle at Kara’s juvenile word; it was utterly adorable.

“Oh? Is he being biased against you? I can have him fired. It will only take one phone call, and you will never have to worry about him again.”

Kara smiled fondly at Lena, and it almost took the brunette’s breath away. “No, don’t do that. It’s fine if not everyone likes me… It’s just difficult to deal with sometimes, but I’m okay.”

Lena made a mental note to transfer Snapper to a different editing department and nodded her head. If Kara didn’t want him fired, fine… But Lena wouldn’t allow him to abuse his power over the woman she loved either.

“How are things going at L-Corp?” Kara inquired as the waiter arrived.

Lena ordered Prosciutto, halfheartedly and then refocused her attention to Kara who was in the middle of ordering several different dishes. She chuckled at how lucky Kara as to have such a harrowing appetite, but when she noticed Kara’s cheeks begin to tint, and she showed embarrassment before stopping her order halfway through, Lena frowned. “She’ll also have the Ribollita and the Saltimbocca as well,” Lena said, before smiling gently at her… (girl?)friend.

The waiter took their extensive order and then left silently, leaving Kara and Lena to themselves once more. “I wasn’t laughing at you, darling. I was laughing because you’re the luckiest person I know when it comes to their metabolism.”

Kara’s embarrassment dissipated and she smiled. “I know, but I realized that it probably was a little strange… One woman ordering six different meals all at once?” She shrugged. “Didn’t want to get weird looks all night.”

Lena raised her brow. “Darling, the only reason you’re getting weird looks is that a gorgeous woman like you shouldn’t be caught dead in public with a Luthor… Especially not in a romantic setting.”

Kara furrowed her brows. “This is considered romantic?” She asked.

Lena fought the urge to throw herself off a cliff and nodded slowly. “To some.” She responded, struggling to keep her smile on her face...  Kara didn’t see this as romantic.

“Oh, well they can shut up. You’re my best friend, and if they weren’t so hung up on your last name and didn’t lump you in with the rest of the Luthors, they could actually see that you’re a fantastic person. Any of them would be lucky to have you in their lives, and they’re idiotic if they can’t find it in themselves to see that. I’m proud that you’re my best friend, and I’m not going to hide it, so they can keep on staring.”

Lena was conflicted. Her heart was torn because it was clear that Kara didn’t think of this as a date, and because the flowers weren’t a secret declaration of love, but she was ecstatic that Kara felt so strongly about their friendship. “I love you.” Lena pushed out.

Kara smiled and reached across the table to hold Lena’s hand in her own. “I love you too, Lee.” She said, and something in the sincerity of Kara’s tone caught Lena off guard… she couldn’t quite place it, but it was different. It was _new_.  


Why was it so difficult for her to read her own _best friend_ anymore?

And why was it starting to hurt to be around her?

**XXX**

Kara had insisted that they walk back to Lena’s apartment, stating that it was a gorgeous night out and it’d be a waste to be driven back, and Lena being unable not to give Kara whatever she asked for, agreed.

So as they walked up the street, side by side, their hands rubbing against each other repeatedly, Lena did something that she was terrified might cross a line…

She interlocked their fingers.

The brunette held her breath, and side-eyed Kara as she did it, but instead of pulling her hand away like Lena feared, Kara just kept rambling on about why ice cream was better for Kryptonians than Kale was.

“I mean, Kale has like… zero calories, and in order to stay alive, I need at _least_ twenty-thousand calories a day, so really, you trying to get me to eat Kale is dangerous. It’s taking time away from me to be able to consume my high-calorie snacks.”

Lena just giggled, feeling butterflies in her stomach as Kara looked down at their hands and smiled at them before she gave Lena’s hand a tight squeeze. But, just as quickly as Kara caused her happiness, she opened her mouth and destroyed her all over again. “You really are the best friend I’ve ever had, Lena.”

Lena looked down at the sidewalk and vigilantly fought back her tears. “You too, Kara.” She croaked out, her voice strained. She hoped to god that Kara didn’t notice… but she had super hearing, so, of course, she did.

Kara stopped, which stopped Lena as well because of their joined hands. “Lee? What’s wrong?”

Lena let out a tremulous breath. “Nothing’s wrong… I’m just… tired.” She lied.

“You want me to fly you home now? We don’t have to walk if you’re too tired to.”

The worry in Kara’s voice was palpable, which only furthered Lena’s guilt. She shouldn’t have pushed Kara into this arrangement. Kara had been right; this would most likely end their friendship if Lena didn’t rein in her feelings for her. “No, Kara. It’s okay. I’m okay.”

“You sure?” The Kryptonian asked, worry still evident on her face.

Lena nodded. “I’m sure, Kara. I promise.”

The promise seemed to be enough to persuade Kara to drop the subject, and she continued to ramble on about the ‘atrocity’ that is Kale.

Lena laughed aloud, and Kara seemed to take that as an encouragement to continue on, but Lena hadn’t been laughing at Kara’s speech… She hadn’t even been paying attention.

She’d laughed aloud, but it wasn’t a joyous laugh. It was a laugh that she used to hide her devastation… Her devastation that came from realizing that even though Kara was the best thing that happened to her, and she had sworn to do whatever she had to so she could keep Kara in her life after their first hug; Lena had still managed to fuck up what she had with her.

Because she was either going to have to end their ‘extra benefits’, or continue with them until she inevitably confessed her feelings for Kara and ruined their entire friendship…

It was ironic that she found herself yet again in a situation where no matter what she did, she was going to break her own heart. After all, she’d done to try to reverse the Luthor spell, it seemed like it was still upon her.

Being infatuated with your straight best friend was one thing, but being _in love_ with your best friend while you got to touch her in all the ways you’d fantasized about for over a year, but _still_ not being able to claim her as your significant other? Well, it was torture.

A torture that she’d endured for a long time, but now she knew she’d have to call it off. Because it may just be ‘best friend sex’ to Kara, but to Lena, it was almost everything… They just needed exclusivity, but that was not what Kara wanted. Kara wanted sex, and Lena had been happily providing it, until now. Until she realized that there was no way that Kara could ever want to be hers… No way Kara would ever _want_ her…

So, she looked up into Kara’s bright blue eyes, once they reached Lena’s building, and said something that she never thought she’d say. “Kara, we can’t keep fucking.”

Kara’s face fell as she stopped her rambling. “What?”

Lena swallowed thickly. “I mean that we can’t keep our benefits going… It’s, um… Holding you back from finding true happiness with someone.”

That was a lie… She knew that Kara hadn’t exactly  _not_ been looking around, but she hadn’t been on a date either, and lying about this was so much easier than admitting the truth… That she hadn’t heeded Kara’s warning when she desperately should have.

Kara’s face was expressionless, and she swallowed visibly. “Y… you don’t want to have sex with me anymore?”

And _oh fuck_ did the pain in Kara’s voice destroy her, but Lena needed this to end, she needed Kara to find happiness so that she would be able to somehow hide her feelings again. She knew that the jealousy would be devastating for a while, but she might be able to somehow…

Oh, who the hell was she kidding? There’s no way around the heartache, but this way had to be easier… _right_?

“But… we were celebrating out Friendiversary… Why would you let us go out and celebrate like that if you were planning on ending it anyway? What happened? What changed?” Kara asked, seemingly upset.

 “I want you to find a relationship, and if you’re still having sex with me, that’s distracting you from going out there and finding one. It’s been seven months now, Kara.” The look of utter desolation on Kara’s face was almost enough for Lena to change her mind, but she couldn’t… Not now. She thought for a moment, trying to find a good excuse, and came up with the only semi-decent one that she thought would fit “Remember when I said that the restaurant was romantic?” Kara nodded, obviously still confused. “Well, you hadn’t even realized it, so it’s clear that you need to get your head back in the game if you want to find that special someone.”

Kara’s face was still perplexed as they entered Lena’s personal elevator. “Why is it so necessary for me to be in a relationship?” She asked defensively. “What if I just want to work on myself right now before I finally open my heart up to someone again? What if I just need some time?” She asked, clearly offended as they exited the elevator and began walking to Lena’s penthouse door. “My entire goal in life isn’t to be someone’s lover, Lena. I’m not incapable of being single.” She shook her head and let out a humorless laugh. “I didn’t think about the setting being romantic because my focus was on _you,_ not the restaurant. I dressed up because you said the place called for fancier clothes. I didn’t care if the restaurant was fancy, or If it was a burger joint. I only went because I knew that’s what _you_ wanted. It had nothing to do with me being ‘out of the game,’ and everything to do with _you_. You were my focus on the night because today was something special to me. If you don’t want to continue having sex, I can respect that. It’s your body, your choice, and I am not entitled to you. I won’t mention it again, but for you to act like I am incapable of being my own person, incapable of being single? Like my sole purpose in life is to be someone’s girlfriend? That kinda sucks, Lena…”

Lena saw that there was not only anger but hurt in Kara’s eyes… even a bit of disappointment, and the knowledge that _she_ put them there was something that she couldn’t cope with. “Kara, I-.”

Kara bit her cheek, visibly fuming., and Lena swallowed her words… Opting for a different approach to repairing the damage. “Would you like to come in?”

Just before Kara could respond, her phone went off, and she answered it. “Alex?” She asked. A short pause, and then she spoke again. “I’ll be there in forty seconds.” She said before hanging up the phone. She looked at Lena and explained. “Alien gang is robbing National City Bank. I’ve gotta go.” She said before swirling into her suit.

Lena nodded, swallowing back her heartache. “Be safe, Supergirl.” She choked.

Kara offered her a tight-lipped smile and a nod before zipping away.

She watched out the window for the familiar streak of red and blue, and as soon as she saw her fly by, she let her tears fall as she poured herself a glass of Vodka.

Lena felt like an imbecile, unable to think of anything other than the fact that not only had she fucked up and basically told Kara that it was time for her to find another relationship to jump into, but she’d lost the ability to ever meld her body with Kara ever again… She’d hurt Kara’s feelings, and lost the ability to have her in _any_ intimate capacity in under fifteen minutes.

It genuinely was one of the worst nights Lena had ever had

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> What do you think Lena will do now?


	5. Chapter 5

It’d been well over three months since Lena had called off their 'extra benefits.' She sat on her couch on a random Wednesday afternoon, thinking about her current situation.

Kara hadn’t been ignoring her like she feared she would, but she certainly wasn’t her happy-go-lucky self anymore either… She acted more distant, _reserved_ even, but she never ignored Lena, still made a conscious effort to communicate with her, yet… it still wasn’t the same as it had been before.

It baffled Lena, to say the least, but it also killed her inside… Had she destroyed their friendship?

The thought caused her stomach to knot, and her heart to explode with pain.

Kara had been seeing someone for the past seven or so weeks; however, she vehemently insisted that it was just casual because of how new it was. She also had explained that when she told Alex what Lena had said, Alex had joyfully taken the opportunity to agree with Lena and had set her sister up on a date.

Lena had met the man, whom she now knew as DEO Special Agent _Dustin Miller_ , at their game night last month. He was tall, very well built, and was a perfect gentleman, but seeing Kara make googly eyes at him destroyed her.

The memory of his arm wrapped around Kara’s waist caused her heart to ache. The memory of him holding Kara’s hand churned her stomach, and the memory of him staying at Kara’s apartment after everyone else (including Lena herself) had left for the evening made her want to shoot him between the eyes. 

When she realized that her jealousy was causing her to think irrationally, she stood, ready to turn herself into an alcoholic if only to avoid the thought of being forced to live a Kara-less life, when there was a knock at her door. She hoped that it might be Kara, so she instantly switched from her route to her decanter and rushed to the door.

When she opened it, however, it wasn’t the Danvers sister that she wanted to see… instead, it was Alex. 

“Alex?” She asked as panic hit her. _Oh, god… Kara’s hurt._ “What happened? Is she okay? Did-,”

Alex rolled her eyes and covered Lena’s mouth with her hand. “She’s fine. Well, physically at least.” Lena swallowed and blinked as Alex backed her back into her penthouse. “But I had this strange suspicion that something was wrong. She’d been acting strange, not quite like herself. She told me that she needed to get a boyfriend because you said she’d be happier once she did, so I set her up on a date like two months ago, as you’re well aware of.”

Lena swallowed the lump in her throat and she nodded. “Yes, I’m brutally aware of that.” She murmured, her eyes averted elsewhere. 

“Right, well I only did that because she’d been mopey and I figured a distraction would be nice. I had no idea what was going on, and I just wanted my baby sister to feel better. So I thought, hey… getting laid always helped me, so maybe it’ll help her too.” 

The thought of Kara having sex with someone else made Lena want to jump off of her balcony, but she feigned nonchalance. “Right.” She said.

Alex huffed and shook her head before reaching into her purse and pulling out a page of fancy notebook paper. “I was wrong though… Sex isn’t what she needed. What she needed, and still seems to need, is communication with her best friend, who I can tell is madly in love with her.”

Lena froze. Had everyone been able to tell _but_ Kara? “Y-you knew?”

“ _Everyone_ knew,” Alex said as she rolled her eyes. “The only person who didn’t was Kara, but let’s face it, she can never tell when someone is into her. She couldn’t tell when Winn was, she couldn’t tell when Lucy was, and she sure as hell couldn’t when Livewire was. She’s blind as a bat and thinks that everyone is _always_ making heart eyes at their friends because that’s what _she_ does.” 

Lena nodded. “She does. She makes everyone feel like they are the center of the universe.” The brunette said with a smile as her heart warmed up at the thought of Kara’s eyes.

Apparently, Alex didn’t share the same sentiment and made a gagging noise. “You seriously need to read this.” She said as she slammed the fancy notebook paper onto the desk, that had a very familiar penmanship on it… _Kara’s_ penmanship.

“Wh-… Is this Kara’s _diary_?” She asked incredulously; she was ultimately put off by Alex’s complete betrayal of Kara’s privacy.

Alex huffed. “Yes, and before you get all judge-y on me, no I don’t normally do this. She usually tells me _everything_ so when I caught her jotting away in it a few weeks ago; I decided that if her mood didn’t seem to improve within a month, I’d read it because it isn’t like her not to be open with me about anything and everything… Which is what I just did about an hour ago, and why I’m here now. Read it.” She said as she pushed the paper towards the CEO.

Lena made a disgusted face at Alex. Of course, she’d been worried about her best friend, but she refused to disrespect Kara by reading her personal journal. “I will do _no such thing_!” She firmly asserted.

Alex rolled her eyes, picked up the paper, and began to read it aloud anyway.

 

_Dear Diary,_

_I haven’t written in you much, I never really needed to before now because I’ve always had Alex, but this is different. This is something I haven’t been able to figure out for myself, and I can’t go to Alex with this, because I’m supposed to be the one helping her through the post-Maggie crisis. So, she really doesn’t need this extra burden… and I’m not in the mood to be made fun of either._

_I’ve been sleeping with my best friend for months. Well, I was, but she called it off, and it stung… really **really** badly_. _It’s almost the same type of pain as when Mon-El left, but… **not** the same; different, but equally  if not more, painful._

 _I don’t understand it, Diary… But when I’m with her, I can never get enough of the time we have together. It always makes me so **happy** , especially when we cuddle right after sex and just talk aimlessly until we fall asleep. I’ve never felt anything like this before._

_Lena is my absolute best friend, and I love her so much! But when I compare it to the love I have for Alex, it’s not the same… or with the love I have for Eliza, or Kal, or Lois… it’s not a familial type of love… But I’m not in love with her, I can’t be, because when I compare it to the love I have for Mon-El, it doesn’t fit either… and I really loved him. I know I did because everyone around me said that what we had was true love… And well, I know that I cared for him deeply, so they must be right._

_So what are they, Diary? What are these strange feelings that I have for Lena Kieran Luthor?_

_Is this what having a best friend feels like? Because I’ve never felt like this for Winn._

_I never even felt this way when I was with James._

_I’m so confused, but all I know is that I don’t want to stop sleeping with her, and when she called it quits, it hurt like hell; which only further confuses me… We both agreed that the sex would mean nothing, that it wouldn’t affect our friendship, that it wouldn’t last forever; so why did it hurt so much worse, and in such a different way than when I had to send Mon-El away? Why did it piss me off so much when Lena mentioned me finding another relationship? Why did it turn my stomach inside out at the thought?_

_Nothing makes any sense to me anymore. I can’t place these feelings I have for my own best friend, and I’m beginning to worry about my own sanity._

_Maybe Lena is right, maybe this arrangement was a bad idea, and was only distracting me from finding another meaningful relationship. Perhaps I do need to find another boyfriend, and then I’ll be able to come back to reality and grasp the concept of best friends again… I’ll just ask Alex to set me up._

_That will help… right?_

_Love always,_

_Kara Zor-El Danvers_

When Alex finished reading, Lena’s eyes were wide, her heart was aching, and her mind was swirling.

 “K-Kara didn’t write that.” She demanded as she shook her head aggressively.  She refused to let herself hope for something more. Because it sounded like she _did_ have a chance to be with Kara, but Kara herself wasn’t even sure of the magnitude of her own feelings towards Lena, and whenever she manages to figure them out, Lena’s heart could still be destroyed… IT wasn’t a guarantee, and Lena wasn’t about to let herself hope.

Alex rolled her eyes. “I don’t know any other adult that dots their I’s with hearts, so… yes, she did.”

Lena shook her head. “It might not be love… Not romantic love, at least.” She determined. “It might just be her confusing her feelings for Mon-El with me because of the sex.”

Alex sighed. “Could be. But it could also be that she never really loved Mon-El, and because everyone told her that _they_ were in love, she doesn’t recognize that she’s actually in love with you now.”

Lena clenched her jaw, hating herself for feeling so much hope. “She can’t be in love with me.” She swallowed down a sob. “I’m a Luthor. I’d only destroy her.”

Alex raised her eyebrow. “Do you really think that your last name would ever dissuade her from being with you?”

Lena lowered her head. “It should.”

 “But does it?” Alex prodded.

 That last question caused Lena to sag in resignation as she shook her head. “No. It doesn’t.”

 “Exactly. So, you need to talk to her.”

 Lena scoffed. “It’s a bit too late for that. She’s in a relationship now.”

Alex didn’t say anything for a moment; she just stood there with a dubious expression on her face. “You need to talk to her, and tell her that you want to be with her… It’ll give her a chance to finally see that her feelings are more than she realizes they are and give her another chance to entertain them. And, if for some reason she decides that she doesn’t want to be with you, then you two can figure out a way to be Best Friends without it killing you both. Oh, and no more casual sex either. You both deserve more than that.”

Lena clenched her jaw. “Did you even hear what I just said? She has a _boyfriend_! She doesn’t want to be with me… Her feelings have probably changed since she wrote that stuff down.”

Alex shook her head. “She’s said multiple times that they’re just casual… Nothing exclusive yet. So, you wouldn’t be breaking a couple up, just ending their casual dates.”

Lena didn’t want to even think about what else Kara might have been doing with Dustin and sighed. “I don’t think I’m strong enough to handle the inevitable rejection, Alex. I’ve been dejected and rejected countless times by people I loved, but this is Kara… She is certain to always be the one that will hold my heart whether she wants me or not, and I don’t think I’ll be able to survive her telling me that she doesn’t want to be with me anymore. It will end me, Alex… I might just turn into my brother when it happens.”

Alex put her hand on Lena’s arm. “Whether she wants to be with you or not, I can’t say. I can’t speak for my sister, all I can do is speculate, and I’m not going to do that to you. What I _do_ know is that she’s never stopped caring about any of her friends that have been in love with her, she will always want you in her life. She’s said that countless times. Kara believes in you, she cares for you, and your feelings for her will never change that. I can’t promise you that this will end with you two living happily ever after, because she seems confused as hell right now, but the only person that can help clear everything up for her is you. I don’t think she even thinks that you would be interested in being her girlfriend, so if she knew that, it might be just the push she needs to see that she’s in love with you too.”

Lena swallowed back her hope. “You think she’s in love with me?”

“I didn’t say that. I said she _could_ be. As I said, I can’t speak for Kara herself, all I can do is tell you what I see. If you want to know that for sure, you’re going to have to talk to Kara herself and help her through this confusion. I don’t think she’s ever been in love before, so if she is in love with you, it would make sense that she is so confused right now. When she was with Mon-El, he made her believe that she was in love with him, and she believed him. When she was with/not with James, I think she just enjoyed having someone somewhat-understand where she was coming from as a Superhero because he was a friend of Clark’s. That’s all I can say, Lena. If you want to know, you have to talk to each other.”

At that moment, Lena knew precisely what she had to do. She knew that this was a huge risk, that she had the ability to not only break her own soul but destroy her friendship with the only person that she’d do anything (and she meant a _nything_ ) for. 

But Kara was worth it. Kara was worth the heartbreak, Kara was worth the pain. Kara was worth it all… If she could take away this confusion from Kara, at the expense of her own sanity? She’d do it, and she’d do it with a smile on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope this explained Kara's point of view well. As always, thank you for reading, and your comments are all greatly appreciated:)


	6. Chapter 6

Lena inhaled deeply before knocking on the all-too-familiar door. She had no idea what she was going to say to the Kryptonian, but she knew she had to say _something_. She couldn’t tell her about the diary, she couldn’t betray Alex like that, especially after the woman had come to her and gave her the courage she needed to tell Kara the truth… That she was madly in love with her and would do anything to get a chance to be with her.

She heard footsteps, and within a millisecond the door swung open to reveal Kara’s boyfriend(?) standing there with a smile on his face. “Oh! Hello, Miss Luthor… Um, Kara just went out, she should be back soon though. Would you like to come in and wait for her?”

And _oh_ how she wanted to hate this man for being with Kara, but she couldn’t. He was a respectful man, and Alex wouldn’t have recommended him to her sister if he wasn’t anything but a stand-up guy, so even if she and Kara never got together, she knew he’d be trustworthy with Kara’s heart.

She still resented him though.

“Oh, um… N-no thank you. Could you just let her know that I stopped by?” She asked, as she felt her heart fill with something akin to acid.

The man nodded and gave her a friendly smile. “Of course! I’m sorry you missed her.” He said before waving goodbye and closing the door.

Lena swallowed thickly. “Me too.” She whispered sadly.

As she was turning to leave, she saw Kara climbing the last of the stairs, and her heart stopped. “Lena!” Kara exclaimed. “Hey, how are you?”

Lena inhaled deeply and asked the first question she needed to know before she told Kara everything. “Are you and Dustin exclusive now?”

Kara faltered for a moment. “Uhm… not yet. I’m sorry. We are talking about it tonight though!”

Lena caught the random apology and made a mental note to ask about that later, but right now she gulped back the lump in her throat and continued her trail of questioning. “Do you want to be exclusive with him?”

“Why are you asking?” Kara asked, her brow corrugated in palpable confusion.

“Because I _love_ you,” Lena admitted weakly. Her eyes were averted, and fear was encroaching her battered soul.

Kara paused for a moment before smiling. “Well, I know _that_ , silly. I love you too! We’re best friends. I promise I’ll tell you what we decide right after I tell Alex, okay?” She asked with a smile.

Lena let out a shaky breath; she was losing her chance to tell Kara the truth, because if Kara went into that apartment without Lena telling her the true extent of her feelings, Kara would no doubt come out of there in a relationship with Dustin.

Lena took a deep breath, prepared to tell Kara what type of love she actually meant, but what came out of her mouth instead, was a cop-out… A cop-out she hadn’t meant to say. “I’d like to restart our benefits. I was stupid to end them, and I definitely miss them.”

She swallowed the bile in her throat as she watched a multitude of emotions cross over the Kryptonian’s face. “But, Lena… You said that you wanted me to find a relationship?”

Lena clenched her jaw, and thought of how to explain this… Why was confessing her feelings for her best friend so damn _hard_? “I-I _do_. Want you to be in a relationship. I definitely do… Just not with Dustin.” She admitted, looking into Kara’s ocean blue eyes, hoping to god that she’d just _understand_ what she was trying to disclose.

Kara furrowed her brow. “Why not? Did he say something to you!?”

Lena shook her head. She desperately wanted Kara to comprehend what she was trying to say, but she also had _no idea_ how to say it without the risk of having her heart destroyed. She took a held her breath and tried again. “I don’t want anyone touching you the way that I have before. I don’t want you kissing other people. I don’t want you loving someone else. I don’t know if I’m crossing a line, I don’t know if I’m destroying everything we’ve built together. I don’t know if you’re going to hate me, but I need you to know… Because you _deserve_ to know that every time I see you with him, I have to force myself not to cry. Every time you mention him I have to force a smile on my face and pretend that it doesn’t destroy me to know that he’s probably seen you naked, that he’s probably kissed you lips, that he gets to hold you, and be with you in public. The entire time that we were sleeping together, I was hoping, praying even, that you would want me to be more than just your fuck toy… I know that I’m your best friend, that’s never going to change, unless you want it to, but I was still hoping that I could be more. I still do hope that one day I’ll be the one that you come home to every day, the one that get’s to hold you in public and kiss you whenever I want. The one that gets to marry you, and live with you, and build a life with you. Kara Zor-El Danvers, I’m so completely, irrevocably in love with you that being away from you hurts, but being around you is excruciating because I know that I’m not the one that you go home to. I tried ending the benefits because I thought it’d be easier than continuing them, but I was wrong… I was _so_ damn wrong because seeing you with someone else hurts so much worse… So, no Kara. I don’t want you to be in a relationship with Dustin. I don’t want you in a relationship with _anyone_ unless it’s me… That’s what I want, but if it isn’t what you want I’ll understand. I will give you space, and if you decide you still want me in your life as your best friend, I will find a way to be content with that because I can’t live a life without you in it… but if you decide that you want to give me a chance to make you happier than anyone has ever made you, I will be ready.”

Kara stood motionless, wide-eyed and slack jawed as Lena fought back her tears and kissed Kara’s cheek before running down the stairs and to her car.

_What have I done?_

 

**XXX**

Lena had just reached her penthouse when her phone vibrated in her pocket. She took it out, pleading to any and all deities that it was Kara telling her that she chose her, but when she looked at her phone, she remembered exactly why she didn’t believe in a higher power… Every time she prayed for something, it never worked out.

It was a notification from Facebook… informing her that Kara Z Danvers was now in a relationship with Dustin Miller… And with that, her heart imploded.

**XXX**

It’d been over a week since Kara and Lena had spoken, and every day Lena stalked her Facebook, Twitter, and Instagram… She knew it was incredibly unhealthy, but she couldn’t help it; she needed a glimpse of Kara, and if she couldn’t get it in person, she would have to settle for pixels on a screen.

Her life sucked without Kara. There was no giggling, no donuts, no cheeseburgers, no gorgeous sapphire eyes and luscious golden locks to take her breath away… All there was, was paperwork, conference meetings, and Jess informing her of her next appointment.

There was no happiness.

There were no smiles.

There was just endless work, and endless drinking.

It was five o’clock on a Wednesday evening when she opened up Kara’s Facebook page for the first time that day (She'd focused on her Twitter and Instagram because she didn't have to see 'In a Relationship with Dustin Miller' on those), and her heart froze at what she saw… Her relationship status had changed.

 

Kara Z Danvers

-I like Potstickers and Puppies! :-)  
Reporter at CatCo Worldwide Media  
_Lives in_ : National City, California  
_From_ : Midvale, California  
Single

 

Lena wanted to message her, to ask her what had happened to Dustin, but she couldn’t. She’d told the blonde that she’d give her space, and it seemed as though Kara was taking her up on that offer, so she would have to sit back and wait for Kara’s next move.

If she were honest, she would just admit to herself that she _knew_ what was coming next:

Kara would visit her at the office one day. She’d tell Lena that she was sorry for taking so long to stop by. Then ask her to sit so they could have a chat, and then once she had Lena next to her on the big white office couch, she’d take off her glasses, look her dead in the eye, and tell Lena all the reasons why she didn’t want to be with her… One of which, would undoubtedly be that her last name was Luthor.

She may then go on to tell Lena that she ‘needed time apart’ from Lena to get her thoughts in order… which would turn into Kara never speaking to her again, and Lena would forever be left a brokenhearted Luthor left all alone for the rest of her miserable existence.

She would never get to show Kara about her tissue regeneration nanotechnology she’d created to help Kryptonians keep their loved ones with them throughout their entire Alien-length lives… Which would be able to help Kara to stop worrying so much about her loved ones when she’s in combat.

She would never get to hug, touch, kiss, or hold Kara ever again… She’d never even get to speak to her again, and it was all because she let Alex get her to believe that Kara’s confusion was more than just that… Confusion.

She should have never let Alex convince her to tell Kara. She should have never told Kara that she would be okay with being BFFWEB’s. She should have settled for being just friends.

She should have done a lot of things that she hadn’t, and she hated herself for not seeing that sooner.

Tears were forming behind Lena’s eyes, and before she could stop them, she heard boots touch down on her balcony.

She squeezed her eyes shut, inhaled a shaky breath, and turned around with a feigned smile. “Supergirl! Lovely to see you. How may I be of assistance?” She asked as her heart ached relentlessly at the sight of her soon to be ex-best friend.

Kara frowned as she entered the room. “Hey, Lee. I’m sorry it took me so long to stop by… I was… I was shocked.”

Lena forced herself to keep smiling as her heart continued to shatter itself bit-by-bit. It was happening. She was really about to lose Kara forever. “No need to apologize, I expected a lot worse.” She admitted sadly.

Kara’s face had so much confliction on it that Lena was about to explode with guilt… This entire situation was _her_ fault… Kara was feeling guilty for something that she had no reason to feel guilty about. She knew what was coming next…

Kara gestured to the couch. “Would you like to sit down so we can talk?” She asked nervously.

 _Called it_. Lena thought as she fought back sobs of utter devastation. She knew exactly where this was leading, and there was nothing she could do to stop it. So, she nodded in resignation and sat down on the couch, her heart aching, her entire body shaking, and her throat constricting.

Kara tentatively sat on the cushion furthest from Lena but angled herself so that she was facing her. “Lena,” Kara started nervously.

Lena felt the tears she had been holding back begin to fall without her permission, and Kara’s face fell. “Oh, _Lena_.” She whispered sadly. She leaned over to Lena and wiped away the tears with her thumbs. “Please don’t cry.”

Lena’s lip was quivering, and her heart was beating rapidly in her chest because of Kara’s touch. “Just say it, Kara. Please… I can’t take this.”

Kara furrowed her brow, and soon after came her frown again as she pulled her hand away from the CEO’s face and she looked down, her hands folded in her lap. “Last week, you took me totally by surprise. I had thought for sure that you wanted me to find a boyfriend because you were tired of the sex we were having… so when you told me that you were in love with me, my brain had no clue how to process that information, and when I finally did you weren’t there.”

Lena shook her head. “The sex with you was the best sex of my life… I just wanted more.”

Kara nodded, her face utterly regretful, and Lena knew what that meant, she felt _terrible_ that she couldn’t be what Lena wanted. “I realize that now, and I have to admit… I never knew. I really, truly, didn’t know. I was so terrified that this would destroy us, and it seems like it almost has, but that’s not what I came here to tell you.”

Lena bowed her head as tears started falling unabashedly once more. “I respect your decision Kara, and I am _so_ sorry.”

She kept her head lowered, tears caressing her cheeks, as she waited to hear the words that would completely devastate her pass from the Kryptonian’s lips.

“What in Rao’s light are you talking about?” Kara asked incredulously.

Lena lifted her eyes to see that Kara’s face showed complete confusion.  She blinked away her tears to make sure she was seeing correctly, and when she realized that she was, felt confusion flood her mind. “I-… You’re telling me that you don’t want to be friends anymore, aren’t you?”

Kara pursed her lips for a moment and nodded. “Yes,” She asserted, causing Lena to feel like she’d just been stabbed in the heart. “Because I want to be more than friends, Lee.”

Lena’s head snapped up, her heart alight with hope, but her mind refusing to believe that Kara was serious. “Th-that’s not funny.” She whimpered.

Kara shook her head and scooted across the couch so that her knee was touching Lena’s. She cupped Lena’s cheek and smiled sadly at her. “You know what else isn’t funny?” She crooned.

Lena was breathing shallowly as she shook her head, her heart fluttering from Kara’s touch.

“How madly in love with you I am,” Kara whispered, causing Lena’s lungs to fight against her, and her stomach to fill with butterflies.

“Y-you love me?”

Kara nodded. “It took me so long to place my feelings, Lee. When you told me that you wanted me to find happiness, and find another meaningful relationship, it made my confusion even clearer. I had no idea why it hurt when you told me that you wanted to end it. I was angry and confused, and I didn’t know what I wanted. I had no idea what the feelings I had for you were. I knew that I cared for you far more than any friend I’ve ever had, I knew that my love for you was intense, but it didn’t match the same type of love I have for my family members. I didn’t think that it was a romantic love either because felt different from the way I felt for Mon-El, so I had no idea what was going on in my heart. But now I realized that it was because that I was never in love with Mon-El, Lena... I was just lonely and he reminded me of home. But at that point, I didn't realize that, so I dated Dustin, and it was fun, but my connection with him paled in comparison to what you and I have. I was confused, I was irritated, and I missed you. I tried to be a good friend during that time, and I hope that I was, but I was so confused about what I feel for you that it was hard to act normal around you.” She sighed and shook her head. “And then after you left last week, after confessing that you were in love with me Dustin asked me to be his girlfriend. I was still confused, I was still in shock, and I said yes because I was a confused mess and an absolute idiot… I broke up with him though, Lena. I broke up with him because when I was with him, I caught myself pretending that I was with you, and I know that it may be too soon after our break-up to start something with you, but I love you, Lena, and I need you to know that.”

Lena’s heart was pounding in her chest. “You… you want to be with _me_?”

Kara smiled shyly and nodded. “I absolutely do.”

“Like… as _my_ girlfriend? Not… Not as BFFWEB?”

“As your girlfriend, Lena. Nothing less.” Kara said reverently.

Lena’s heart soared, but she stoked down that hope. “Even though I’m a Luthor?”

Kara frowned. “Your last name doesn’t define you, Lena. You’re so much more than that.”

Lena’s heart was beginning to believe that this was going to actually happen, and she was terrified… This had to be a dream. “Am I dreaming?” She whispered shakily.

Kara brought her hands up to cup Lena’s cheeks and pulled her face towards her. “You’re not dreaming, Lena Luthor. You’ve never been a ‘fuck toy’ to me. You’ve always been my closest friend, my confidant, and now I want you to be my girlfriend. I’m so sorry that it took me so long to see what was right in front of me, but now I see it, and I want you, Lena, I want you so much.”

Lena was crying tears of joy. “You already have me, Kara.” She whispered. “You’ve _always_ had me.”

And with that, Kara pulled Lena into a passionate kiss. Lena’s world disappeared, and all that was left was Kara. Kara’s soft lips, Kara’s scent, Kara’s hands. It was soft and slow, comforting in ways that their kisses had never been before… They’d always been hurried, and aggressive, teeth and tongue... But this? This was so much _more_.

Lena’s body was on fire when their tongues finally touched, and the warmth spread throughout her entire body… She was so addicted to this woman that she knew she would never be able to survive without her again. She was barely able to breathe because the kiss was absolutely _flawless_ , and she swore that she’d do whatever it took to never lose the ability to kiss this impeccable mouth.

Kara’s hands rested beneath her ears, her thumbs caressing Lena’s cheeks as their breaths blended. She slowly moved her hands down Lena’s neck and shoulders and ran her fingers down the CEO’s spine before pulling their bodies as close as they could get.

When they pulled back, Kara rested their foreheads together. “I’m so sorry I hurt you, Lena. I never _ever_ meant to. You know that right?”

Lena nodded her head. “Of course, I know that, darling. You are the kindest soul ever to live; you’d never hurt a fly unless you thought that fly was hurting someone else.”

Kara smiled sadly. “I’ll never hurt you again, Lena. I promise you.”

And as Lena looked into those gorgeous Kryptonian eyes, she finally, _finally_ believed that Kara Danvers could actually want her.

“I know you wouldn’t, Darling. This was more my fault than anyone else’s… I wasn’t honest about my feelings, and if I had been, things might have been different.” Lena said, and when Kara went to protest, and claim fault, Lena leaned up and kissed her to stop it… because she _finally_ could.

And with that kiss, Lena’s heart repaired itself entirely, after all this time, she _finally_ was loved back by the love of her life, and nothing could ever bring her down again _._

**Five Years Later**

Lena had five minutes before she was expected to be in another board meeting, and as she rode the elevator she decided to check Kara’s Facebook just for the hell of it, and when she did, her entire face lit up, and her heart swelled just as it had for the past five years.

 

Kara Z Danvers  
-I LOVE Potstickers and Puppies! :-)  
Chief Editor/CEO at CatCo Worldwide Media  
_Lives in_ : National City, California  
_From_ : Midvale, California  
_Married To_ : Lena Danvers

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope that you enjoyed! :) Thank you all so much for reading! :)

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that this was enjoyable.
> 
> Let me know what you thought?


End file.
